Akittenone’s Weblog

Archive for October 2008

“Get busy living or get busy dying” -Andy Dufrane (Shawshank Redemption)

This is one of my favourite quotes. To me, it sums up the only two choices we really have. Many will disagree with this sentiment. Yet, when we break it all down, everything ultimately comes back to these two choices.

Sadly, many choose to “get busy dying”. They allow others to dictate the type of life they will lead. This allows them to blame others when their life fails to turn out the way they desire. Of course, they will use all kinds of justification for the way things are. However, their deep-seeded resentment and unhappiness comes from settling for a meagre existence.

Personal responsibility means that you take control of your own life. Too many want to cede that to others.

(The full article is found here …. http://dennisharting.blogspot.com/2008/10/two-choices.html )

The above kitten found while looking across the internet and it made her think, lol ok she knows that’s not a good thing at times but this time she thinks it is.

We do have choices, and those choices are to live our lives as we wish to, in a way that makes US happy even if society says “ No that’s wrong, you should live it this way, like everyone else “ or we can stagnate, we can ‘exist’ and not actually live.

Kitten is a slave as that is what she chooses to be, she WANTS to submit to her Master and she WANTS to serve Him in anyway she can, this might not be to everyone’s liking but that is their problem not kittens, she is LIVING her life and not just existing as she waits for old (er) age to claim her, she wants to actually enjoy the things she loves and she wants to feel the pleasure she knows, yet at the same time she wants to actually be alive while this is happening, not look back in years to come and always have regrets and wishes unfulfilled.

Sometimes its hard when faced with prejudice and scorn, when others will not accept that how you want to live and with whom you want to live is a choice they cannot make or influence, the more they push the more kitten digs her heels in, she wants her life and she wants it on her terms, well relatively speaking of course!

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Kitten has found this great dictionary, got a few things in here that even kitten didn’t know, take a look and lol you might be surprised at what you do and don’t know !!


http://anownedlife.com/bdsmterms.html

Trust

Posted on: October 19, 2008

Trust in any relationship is a vital thing, a Dom or Master needs to know that He can trust those who serve Him as much as the sub or slave needs to know that her Dom or Master is a Man of honour and she can trust Him, especially if T/they are involved in some of the more extreme parts of BDSM.


There are times when a slave is party to parts of her Masters life that she knows she has no right to tell others, now if she is new or she is lonely or even if she thinks that by saying something will enable others to talk to her thus allowing her to have a conversation with another person, she should still not say anything, her Dom or Masters business is just that, His business and she has no right what so ever to actually tell His business to anyone.


If the Dom or Master is poly then there are times when one of those owned think they are more important than any others, the fact they have this knowledge to His life makes them believe they have a certain ‘ power’ over others, and by saying things that have happened during the course of the day they are ‘Lording ‘ over others within the relationship, this is something a Dom or Master needs to stop happening as they could find themselves poly with no one else to serve them except the one who thinks she is superior.


A new sub or slave invariably will resent an older sub/slaves presence, it can and often does make her feel inferior so she will say things, pass on information she has no right to, do things, mention things in various places knowing it will be read just to make herself look good and ‘more’ than another, all this will do is serve to make all involved in the relationship realise just how childish that one is being. We all have things to say and we all know parts of our Dom or Masters life, it is a sign of strength and maturity knowing that a sub or slave is just that, she has no right to spread her Dom or Masters business around to others, there is something called respect and if a sub or slave does not respect her Dom or Master, then how can another sister trust her with anything that is going on in their life ?


If you find yourself privy to anything that is happening in your Dom or Masters life, be it a new sub getting involved or a new car being purchased, or even a new job interview or promotion, anything that concerns your Dom or Master, then it is NOT your business to pass it on to others without permission and when you are found out and upset and crying, moaning about how your life is not fair and it was not your fault,  think on,,, this is your own fault for opening your mouth and chances are you are still doing it, you are going for the ‘please feel sorry for me ‘ angle.

Sub/slave or in a vanilla relationship, you have no right to spread your Dom or Masters life to others no matter what circumstances without His permission, thats what trust is about.

There are times in everyone’s life when doubts and fears try to take control of them, no matter what and how you try it seems that you cannot shake them, so what do you do ?


Kitten steps back, she looks at her life, where it is, where it is going and what has happened to put those fears and doubts there, once she has done that the next step is to work out what to do about it, how can you make things right, how can you take these things that are in your head and make them go away ?


Kitten does what she does best, she runs for awhile, she knows that solves nothing but for her its the best way, speaking about them does nothing but cause more problems, so is easier to keep things where they belong and that is inside kitten, that way she can shut them away, close the door on them and hopefully lock them away from sight, it works most times, and on the times it doesn’t work, well kitten deals with that as well.


There are many things in life, both BDSM and vanilla that will fill a person with doubts about themselves, other peoples opinions should not matter but invariably they do and simple things, be it a word said or not said, well that too can have an impact. Kitten is kitten though and nothing gets to her for long, she has this built in survival streak, it means she can take the blows and while they might knowck her down they will not keep her there for long, might be a bit more battered and a bit more wary but she gets up ready for the next blow, and it will come as it always does.


Hey kitten is kitten, all singing and all dancing


kitten sits here thinking about what she wants to write, there are times when kittens head is so full she cannot sort out what she wants to say, at those times she writes them into a separate document, putting them on paper helps to sort them out and she eventually ends up with what she wants to say, the trouble is, by the time she has sorted everything out she needs to start again !

kitten has been reading blogs of other slaves and subs for ages now, some are all about their lives with their Masters, some are just general and some are about their hopes and desires when they submit, and to be honest they are all different yet so very much alike.

It seems that the newer ones are asking questions about the life, the older ones are trying to answer and the ones who think they know are ‘butting in’ There is no rule book in this life, just as there is no rule book for vanilla life, however there are a few things that are always expected, kitten calls them the 3 R’s

#1 Respect, A sub or slave must respect her Dom or Master, if there is no respect then there is no D/s or M/s relationship

#2 Remember, Remember your position, you are not an equal, you are a sub or slave, your manner when addressing your Dom or Master should always reflect that no matter what is being said or done, there are times when He will test you, at those times remember rule 1… Respect

#3 Rights, A sub or slave has rights, she has choices, she had decisions, just because she is owned does not mean she is nothing, however it is what she does with those rights, choices or decisions that will determine if she is owned or not ! If a sub or slave is told to do something and she doesn’t want to she has the right to refuse, if there is a valid reason why she will not do it then a Dom or Master will listen most times but if there is no reason then a refusal can lead to further consequences, but she still has the choice

All to many times kitten hears ” I have nothing without my Masters permission ” or ” i am nothing unless He says i am ” Wrong, ,, sorry but if your Master wanted a lifeless empty shell then He  would have got a blow up doll, however, He does require, respect and obedience at all times and that is what a sub or slave does, she does not sulk or shouts, she does not try to with hold His rights ( have yet to meet a Dom or Master who would stand for that one ) she does however need to realise that her actions will determine His actions towards her a certain extent and she is in that way in control of her situation.

A sub or slave has the need to serve and be all she can for her Dom or Master, that is why she is a sub/slave, but all to often new ones enter thinking this is the life they have been seeking for so long only to suffer mood swings when they are not the centre of His world or they are not getting what they think they deserve, kitten agrees we all deserve respect and some uninterrupted time with your Doms or Masters, this is how you serve, however it is something that only He can grant you, if you are the type to sit and moan about it daily and try to insert yourself into His dealings with others, this might not be the life for you

Something to think about …..

A lot gets said about how a sub/slave is expected to react when her Dom or Master is poly and how a Dom/Master has the right to have as many serve Him as He desires, and this kitten agrees with, but, and lol heres the kicker, can a poly Master become monogamous ?

kitten thinks they can and sometimes even they do not realise it, lol that made no sense but bear with kitten while she rambles on. A Dom or Master can still be poly but He will also want the ‘Happy ever after Life’ as well and so He might want another for sex but His tastes will change and He will spend less and less time with others and more and more time with a significant other, and if there are children involved then He will become a ‘family man’ more and more.

There are times in a persons life when they are looking to settle down and while not have a totally vanilla relationship, they are looking more and more for the stability that a vanilla life can bring, they seek to implement certain bits into their life and while not giving up the M/s life they love they find they are not playing with others as much and they are listning to and taking note of the sub/slave more and more. There is nothing wrong with a Dom or Master listning to those they own, please don’t think there is, its more a case of the sub/slave altering their status within the relationship.

A poly Master is human and as such He can want a settled life with one person and children, there is nothing wrong with that, and if it is made clear at the start that any others that He owns will be for certain things or sexual reasons  only then a great life can be had by all,

Dreams

Posted on: October 11, 2008

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing
Yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each
Of us is special.
Don’t set your goals by what other people
Deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.
Don’t take for granted the things closest
To your heart
Cling to that as you would your life, for without
Them life is meaningless.
Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living
In the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the
Days of your life.
Don’t give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over … until the moment
You stop trying.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less
Than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don’t be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s
Impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don’t dismiss your Dreams. To be without
Dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don’t run through life so fast that you forget
Where you’ve been,
But also know where you’re going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
Every step of the way.