Ok kitten agrees this is a weird title, and its probably a strange thing to try to explain but in true kitten fashion she will try

When you get a new puppy, you train it, you teach it not to pull on a lead, not to pee in the house, not to bite or bark for no reason, all things to train it to become the pet you want and in some ways having a sub/slave is the same, You teach them to serve You in  a way You wish to be served.

Now here comes the unlearning part…. if you beat a puppy, say with a slipper for every thing it does wrong, then when ever it sees that slipper the puppy will flinch and cower in the corner, the lesson you are teaching is that bad=pain=hurt=scared and the same is true for a sub/slave, if you treat them in a certain way they will associate certain things with certain actions. The same goes for words, tell a puppy they they are good, treat them with kindness and they will respond to the words, treat them with indifference and by shouting and that is all they will know. Treat a sub/slave with kindness and respect, with soft words and value then she will know that she is worth Your time, treat her with scorn and abuse,with degrading actions and indifference and she will not know her value, all she will know and expect is what she has been used to.

This brings kitten to he main part of her post, how to break a lesson, if all she is used to is abuse and ridicule, if You have told her so many times that she is worthless that she believes it, if she only knows her value to You if You shout and scream at her and punishments make her feel better as they justify the pain she feels then how does a new Master break this pattern, how can they knock down the walls that she has built around herself ?

Patience, well that’s a start, but even the most patient of people will have a breaking point at times,

Words, repeating key words over and over helps, it hurts at the time as they are believed but not trusted wholly, they can scare as it is not something she is used to and the unknown is scary,

knowledge, well knowing what You are getting into is a good thing, but is it for the long haul or just a short visit, that will make a difference

Caring, kitten knows many think that a Dom/Master does not ‘care’ for their property, but kitten thinks that’s b/s as if they did not care they would not want them in their lives, she agrees there are some who are looking for a cheap thrill but they hopefully are few and far between, its just unfortunate if you happen to find one of them yourself

Understanding, knowing what is going on inside a sub/slaves head is always difficult, and if they are like kitten then they will not want to talk about things, sometimes keeping things in your head is so much easier, might not be the right thing but it is kittens way of trying to deal with things, voicing them hurts too much at times

Some lessons are deeply ingrained and hard to break, there are times when things will appear to go backwards, when You think everything is fine and one thing, be it something said or done will send all the work You have done tumbling back down, that is when You have to decide whether to stay and pick up the pieces or whether You leave for the hills, either way under the circumstances You will not be held accountable, You have tried, given it Your all, its not Your fault but if You decide to stick it out, then each time will be less and less frequent as she learns and grows more and more under Your care

Just some kitten thoughts