The most powerful part of the body is the mind, it is something that you can use limitlessly, it is full of wonder and excitement, it is full of knowledge but always has room for more, it can destroy the greatest idea or create the newest invention, the mind is something that has no boundaries, no limits not expectations, it simple is ,, and knowing how to use it is something no one will ever master, its possibilities are endless and even the greatest of people will never understand it.

Kitten has a mind, she has hopes dreams and desires, she has expectations and beliefs and those all stem from her mind, a tool she uses daily and it serves her well at times, but there is a part of kittens mind that she uses to store thing, a locked door if you like that she keeps things hidden, closed away from the rest of her so she cannot be hurt by them, cannot let them into her life and take from her, that part of kittens mind is somewhere she tries not to go but invariably there are times when the door gets opened and things crash into the rest of her mind, taking over, controlling her, kitten struggles to push them back, hurrying to slam the door on them, she can’t let them in, she needs to keep them closed off and not give them room inside her, to do this could and most likely would break her, something she fights not to let happen.

Kitten is a pain slut, she can take being tied and whipped, she loves the feel of the paddle on (and in) her pussy, the sweet sharp pain that excites her and pleases her, nipples pinched and clamped tight, ankles tied tight as her body is stretched open for His pleasure (and ultimately hers as well) This is physical pain, a wonderful feeling if it is something you enjoy, so why does emotional pain hurt her so bad? Why can she not deal with that as well? Why does she need to shut down that part of her and hide it away?

Kitten knows that the way she will deal with this is to ignore it, put it in that room in her mind and close the door hard on it , not mention it, not let it have any space in her active mind, There are still things that kitten has to do to take this to the conclusion that she knows must happen, and that will be hard, she doesn’t know if she is strong enough to do it, she knows it will hurt so many people not least of all her, can she do it ? Will she have the strength? kitten really wishes she had a time machine, she would turn the clock back and do things differently but that is not to be and so she locks her mind, closes it off and turns to the world and smiles, showing them what they expect to see, telling them what they expect to hear, supporting them as they expect her to, these things she can do as in doing them she doesn’t need to think about her own pain.

Don’t mention it, don’t talk about it, close it away, and then kitten will be fine, she is all singing all dancing and that is how the world will see her, nothing can touch her, nothing can hurt her anymore

Kitten is a person who needs words, she needs to hear them, she needs to have things said and she needs to ‘feel’ the things spoken.

Words typed are hard to interpret; simple words can be mistaken in their intent, for example, the words “I Love You “…. I love you she said with tears running from her eyes, the pain clear on her face……. I love you she smiled, laughing up at Him as she took the flowers offered….. The same words but two different meanings, one filled with pain and one filled with happiness

In some ways the online interaction with your Dom/Master is the same, He can and often does ask/tell you to do something, give an instruction and you act on it, but the task is not clear, the words being told to you could sound harsh and you think of what you have done wrong, in most cases ( but lol if you are kitten its not always guaranteed) you have done nothing wrong but the way things are typed and indeed with typos it can seem that you have and this is something that a sub/slave when ‘talking’ to their One can find hard to understand, lol and with internet connections not being the most reliable of things in bad weather or power failures, the sudden disappearance can cause no end of heart aches and self searching wondering where the heck you went wrong and what you did

Its the simple things that a sub/slave finds pleasure in, smiling, for kitten it is silly things, a picture sent of something her Master knew she would like, a song, a quote, all these things show a sub/slave that their Dom/Master does know them and their ‘normal’ likes and dislikes and not just things pertaining to sex, theses things can and do go along way to making a sub/slave feel as though her Dom/Master thinks of her even when He is busy or not in the best mind frame where she is concerned, ( again kitten knows she makes Master cross at times, well not exactly cross but she exasperates Him with her questions and doubts, but lol He has admitted He has never had a slave who pushed His buttons as much as kitten does so its good practice for Him for when kitten gets there as kitten is kitten and she will always be asking questions )

Guess the point kitten is making is when interacting with another on the internet, no matter who they are think about what you are typing, words are powerful things, they can make you laugh, they can make you smile but they can also break your heart

Hand in Hand we climb this hill,, together we can free fall

Do you ever wonder about your life? About where and when it is going to go your way? When you will ever realise your dreams, your hopes? Your ambitions?

Its strange, kitten really though she was set for life,when she was with her previous Master, who was also her husband, she was happy and contented, things were ok, lol nothing is ever perfect is it and kitten served Him in everyway He demanded, some of the things kitten had to do have affected her in small ways and even now a word or a gesture can make the memories flood back, the other night was an example of that , then things changed, in a bad way, and kitten was in a place that she prays no slave or sub will ever be, she had to make a choice, her child or her Master.

It is one of the worst decisions kitten has ever made, she had no choice really, her child was dying ( kitten thanks god he is still with her and as well as he can be )and needed her so there was no contest, that in itself made kitten a bad slave in His eyes, this lead to years of not being good enough, not being worth anything, kitten was useless she was a failure lol kitten was so many things she is sure some of the words He actually made up.

Eventually kitten could take no more and He left, it was His choice though not kittens, kitten had been ignored sexually for so long it didn’t make any difference to her, He would take people home with Him, other subs and pleasure them in front of kitten and make her watch, all the time telling her she will never know the feeling of Him again as she was too fat/ugly/stupid to deserve it . Do you ever shut off inside your head ? where things said and done will not hurt you any more ? kitten became an expert at that, smiling, she used to write in her head, compose stories and poems while her expression was blankly watching ( had learnt early that to not watch was not worth the punishment received)

This is just one chapter in kittens life, it happened and there is nothing kitten can do about the past, maybe tomorrow she will tell you all about someone she meet who changed her, and in a way He is responsible for kitten being with her Master now, kitten cannot live in the past any more,, she has to look to the future but the past is something that shapes our future, it is something that makes us who we are

Kitten is kitten, no more no less, she is an owned slave and she serves her Master as best she can, yes she pisses Him off at times, but she also makes Him smile and she knows He laughs out loud at some of her kitteneze sayings, kitten has very few good friends, there is one she travels hand in hand with daily , kitten has a sister who she hopes to interact with eventually, who knows stranger things happen at sea

Kittens saying ,,,, Always remember who you are, to not be you is to pretend to be someone else