Akittenone’s Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘submissiveness

There are many things that kitten thinks of when she thinks of Master, He is strong, has a body to die for, He is successful in His chosen field, He is kittens rock when she is scared * been a few of those times* and He is someone you can rely on to tell you the truth no matter what is asked of Him, in all He is someone that a person, not just a slave, can depend on BUT and this might get kitten a few bloody pillows, the one thing He never fails to do is make kitten smile and laugh.

The other night, one of the cats * and he knows which one he is, have no doubt kitten had stern words with him * decided to bring a playmate home. Now for those who are not aware, kitten is now in Florida, and this is the land of geikos, snakes and countless other things that either crawl or slither across the floor it seems and the cat decided it was going to bring one in, not dead as he rarely kills them. Kitten went into the kitchen to get Master a drink, and the new playmate  ran out from under the fridge,  kitten did what any self respecting kitten would do, a screaming dance that would rivel those on the TV !

Well kittens scream brought Master running, think He thought kitten was being murdered, and there ensued a scene that kitten can only describe as worthy of a comedy show ! Picture the scene, kitten screaming and running outside, standing on a bench so it can’t get her * found out afterwards the bloody things can climb* and  a semi naked Master chasing this thing around the room with a broom, then in comes the cat, who showed total disinterest in the scene happening in the kitchen and proceeded to climb on the nightstand and fall asleep.

Why is kitten posting this you might ask, well for three reasons

1 – To show that no matter what the problem is, a Master will come if you scream

2- A Master is a complex person but a person none the less and will provide safety when He is able

And

3 – It was so bloody funny

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It seems that someone has decided to post things or rather comments on kitten, how she is full of hate and how she is not a slave because she is not subservient, humble, shows the proper respect for Master and does not ask Him when she wishes to wipe her ass after going to the toilet.

kitten knows that some people are opinionated, and that is fine, lol we all know that kitten can be as well but she has always answered any questions, with the words These are kittens thoughts and ideas, and indeed on her blog she writes her thoughts, her feeling, her doubts and fears and it is not for anyone else to add a comment and tell her she is wrong, especially without knowing kitten, without having spoken to her at all or indeed without having any idea what she is like either with Master or on her own.

While kitten likes to recieve comments that are constructive and add to the whole post, and give others  something to think about, attacking kitten is not the way to get your point across, so if you are a friend of kittens or a friend of someone else please have the courage of your words and leave a link where we can all see your words of ‘wisdom’ for ourselves, instead of attacking under the pretence of knowing what a Master is all about,  and yes if kitten has not shown you the ‘respect you think you deserve its because you are not kittens Master and it is only His opinion of kitten that matters

As with all things, there is not a one size fits all and what suits you may not suit another, you mention so many things in your comments, all of which you have no right unless you know kitten to judge, but as with so many people, passing judgement is what they do best, so please, get to know kitten before you condem her and say she is not a slave, she has a feeling you would be very surprised just how slave  ish she actually is, but thas the thing with Master, He likes then to have a brain as well

Finally,  finally in single figures, and things are moving forward at a scary pace, the only good thing is that kitten has tomorrow off them working every day till her butt is on the plane, so in one way thats good as five 13 hour days is a good way to keep your mind occupied and means that kitten will not be about much so that should mean she is out of the firing range of others.


Maybe kitten can survive the next few days, god she really hopes so as so far all she has had is grief and uncertainty, and stupidly she thought Master was having some time off when she got there but she was informed last night He was taking one day off then the weekend then back to work, so guess it will be sink or swim time on her own,  suppose the good thing is she will be on her own and she can try to muddle through, try to fit into Masters life as best she can, hopefully with no interference until she has found her feet

At least with Master not there she will not be expected to meet others so there is a good for every bad, all depends on how you look at things really, and then there is the trip to the shops, * well Master will want to eat after all  * insert a really big grin here *

Kitten knows that being a slave is something she needs to be, and she also knows that each Master is different, guess the first few weeks are going to be interesting to say the least, as when she wants to run and shut herself away that will not be possible with Master actually there, that and other things will be hard for kitten to deal with, but deal with them she will, she is after all Masters kitten

Kitten has written this post 5 times so far, she has written 6 pages on her note book and still she is no more settled than she was, so many things going around in her head, all she wants to do is cry, and damn it kitten is NOT a crier, even writing this she can feel the tears running down her face.

Yesterday really threw her, something happened and it was stupid and pathetic but it really hit kitten hard, another went somewhere they were not supposed to, to keep an check on kitten she guesses and it ended up kitten was told she was over reacting, then was told it was her fault that the one she is blaming goes nowhere, else * which is not true as she does go on a certain place, but not kittens concern if she wishes to lie, was also told that blogs were removed as they upset kitten, again not true as they were removed as she was cuaght lying once more and couldn’t deny it, again not kittens fault as she did not know about the stupid blogs, all kitten knew was someone was not telling the truth and had got caught in a lie again* It is not kittens fault, kitten has never been on that site herself or read the blog in question so how can it be her fault ? So many things were said and something another done ended up being something kitten was told to apologise for, and that is not going to happen, that is the first time kitten has actively disobeyed Master and it has thrown her into a spin, she is not a slave, she is not submissive, she refused to do as she was told, damn it kitten hates feeling like this.

The worst of it is that Master asked if she was there already would she have refused and the answer was the same, she would have, kitten is so sick of saying sorry to another person who has yet to admit that anything is actually their fault and that they in fact owe kitten the apology,  hell in a year have never had one sorry for all the crap either her or her ‘friend’  have  put kitten through, for some reason unknown to kitten she is never the one who is made to apologise.  sounds like sour grapes really, told you it was stupid but refusing Master has really thrown kitten, she is so uncertain at the moment she feels sick with it.

Kitten so far has written for hours in her notebook, she has cleaned all she can clean and then some more, all to try to work out what the hell she is supposed to do, how she can get rid of feeling like this, but its not worked, kitten is shutting down, she can sense it, she can feel it and she hates it but it is how she survives,

Ever have days you wish would just swallow you up and take you away from everything ? kitten is feeling like that.

In 10 days kitten is supposed to be on a plane to Master, what is the point if she is not a slave for Him, if He tells her to do something and she refuses, what good will she be for Him then ?

Just a quick post, kitten wanted to tell you that she is not all doom and gloom, that she is in fact someone who loves to laugh and mess about, and last night she was doing that, can’t explain the exact things but lets just say kitten is going to take the FBI Hostage negotiations course when she gets to the states, if it works for them then hopefully kitten will stand a chance against Master !!!

Master was teasing kitten last night, ok nothing unusual about that, except this time kitten was being a smart ass and she had the ‘perfect’ solution to what He was saying, only two things wrong with that

#1 kitten was trying to make a deal with Master ( and god knows that never works out as kitten thinks it will ) and

#2 She was laughing to hard for Him to understand straight away so that gave Him time to make a comeback and kitten ended up being told she would do both of the things she was making a deal about !!!!!!!!!!

Now kitten has been banned from saying no, non, nope, nada, hell no, dream on batman, no way jose, or anything else that means no to Master, and kitten is inventive if nothing else so now the smilies on im are banned as well( the surprised one on yahoo shakes its head, kitten was overloading on that one last night till she was banned from using it ) so she has to say Yes Master and omg that is so hard as He deliberately says things or does things that make kitten say no, and for each no kitten gets a pillow or a hug or a kiss, at His count last night ( and kitten really thinks He needs more maths lessons ) kitten will be kissing and cuddling till she is 90 and that is at least 5 a day, without interest !And another thing, Master now informs kitten that a hug is something that can be left off and resumed at His leisure, and it is still the same hug ???? Now kitten knows He is making that bit up !

There is something to be said for being owned by an inventive Master, life is never dull around Him thats for sure, thank You Master, just for being You

Well another day crossed off the list, time is moving and kitten is thinking, hhhmm not sure is that is good or bad to be honest.

Kitten has always managed to hold herself ‘aloof’ she very rarely lets people get close enough to really affect her, well that is all breaking down, Master has got to her, and holding herself back and keeping a distance is becoming harder and harder, and that scares kitten a lot.

Kitten has been reading some of her old post, she sees herself being soft and soppy, and that is not kitten, she is tough, strong, she needs no one and nothing from others, yet He manages to get to her in stupid ways, either things said or things done and to be honest kitten is fighting that, she cannot depend on anyone, that makes her needy, she needs to rely on herself, let no one in, stay aloof, stay safe.

How can one person do this to another ? How can He get to her when she resists at all turns ? He says things about hugs and kisses, all things kitten sucks at, they are things kitten doesn’t know how to do well, so she doesn’t do them, end of story.

In being with Master kitten has faced a LOT of others who think that she should not be, and she has lost a few ‘friends’ along the way, last night another one decided to put their opinions across, have they spoken to others ? Don’t really know, all kitten knows is that they were a very good friend from a friends site that she used to go on, now she doesn’t go there anymore and they want her to, they want to get her to go back to online with others, to chat and laugh, to be a part of the fun group again,

Kitten is thinking too hard, she knows that no matter what she is trying to do her thoughts and feelings keep pushing themselves forward, hell kitten either wants to be with Master NOW so He can sort things for her or she wants to run fast, and at the moment it is a tightly run race as to what wins. The fact that she wants Master to help sort things out is something she doesn’t like, always before she could sort things herself, close them away and shut a bit more of herself away, that is getting harder to do as each day goes by and kitten can’t deal with that, not at all

kitten was reading some stuff the other day across this, its something she read many times as the words are so true, When kitten read it, she could hear Master saying to her ” Believe in Me and I will protect you, Believe in Me and I will keep you safe” words she knows are not hollow words but facts, kitten puts her faith and trust in Him and she knows He will be her rock when she needs Him, her strength when she is falling and her wisdom when she is unsure, He will be her light when she cannot see the way, hope you enjoy and can see the parts that are kitten and the parts that are Master

I sit alone and watch the clock

Trying to collect my thoughts

All I think about is you

And so I cry myself to sleep

And hope the devil I don’t meet

In the dreams that I live through

Believe in me

I know you’ve waited for so long

Believe in me

Sometimes the weak become the strong

Believe in me

This life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams

All the smiles you had to fake

And all the shit you had to take

Just to lead us here again

I never have the things to say

To make it all just go away

To make it all just disappear

Believe in me

I know you’ve waited for so long

Believe in me

Sometimes the weak become the strong

Believe in me

This life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams

Its my life

Its my choice

Hear my words

Hear my voice

And just believe

I sit alone and watch the clock

Trying to collect my thoughts

And all I think about is you

If you believe in me

Life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams

Believe in me

I know you’ve waited for so long

Believe in me

Sometimes the weak become the strong

Believe in me

This life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams