Akittenone’s Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘Domination

This post is to all those that are asking after kitten, she is still here and she is still kitten. !!

As many of you know kitten is living with Master 24/7 so as you can imagine things are a bit busy for her, and indeed for Him as well, the adjustments kitten is making to a different way of life in a place that is different with rules that are different and a climate that is different are taking their toll and kitten is finding she is either very tired all the time or she can’t sleep worth a damn !!

We have just said goodbye to another one that Master is looking at to be either a sub or a slave, at the moment kitten is not sure which but the month she was here was ‘eventful’ to say the least, things happened and kitten paid a price but what the total cost is yet kitten does no know, all she knows is it made her ask questions of both herself and Master, and the answers to those questions are very telling indeed.

kitten has been in poly relationships before so that was not new to her, those who know a bit about kitten know she already has a sister whom she is getting on great with, so while having another here was not really an issue the ‘living’ part of the relationship was for kitten, and she knows that she was questioning Master a lot and asking some hard questions.

But as with all things in kittens life, she rides out the storms, a bit wiser and a bit tougher, and who knows maybe in the end a bit more careful of letting her feelings show, which can only be a good thing right ?

So to all that ask, kitten is still here, remember, she is kitten, all singing and all dancing but still kitten none the less and her smile is firmly planted on her face, lol have found that smiling really confuses all those around you who are wondering what you are grinning at !!

Kitten had always considered herself a sexual person, but over the years, as life took over her journey her sex drive seemed to wan off, she was not bothered about sex, when she was told to do something she did it but very rarely did she get the ‘urge’ to ask for something, to ask to cum or play, she was getting to the stage she was content to watch him play with his others or indeed, not watch as the relationship broke down more and more but now she has a problem !

Master has a body to die for and He loves being naked, nothing wrong with that kitten knows but damn it makes for some uncomfortable thoughts in her head ! kitten is a slave and as such it is not her place to initiate sex or touch without permission, either herself or Master and when kitten sees Master naked it is so very hard to keep her mind on tasks or chores she is supposed to be doing.

Master knows that kitten loves the paddle/crop/switch and the marks on her body prove that He loves it as well, but omg kitten is insatiable where He is concerned and is almost catatonic at times when He pleases her. The ability to please Master with her mouth, pussy, ass is something kitten loves * for so many reasons some of which are really selfish !! and as time moves on kitten is finding that Master is awakening the parts of her she thought were dead and forgotten.

Kitten is once more becoming the person she was, but this time a new and improved version, one who is allowed to have likes and dislikes, thoughts and feeling, who is allowed to be sensual and sexual, now al kitten needs is for Master to realise that cuddles and pillows are really not that sexy and she will be in heaven !!!

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

It seems that someone has decided to post things or rather comments on kitten, how she is full of hate and how she is not a slave because she is not subservient, humble, shows the proper respect for Master and does not ask Him when she wishes to wipe her ass after going to the toilet.

kitten knows that some people are opinionated, and that is fine, lol we all know that kitten can be as well but she has always answered any questions, with the words These are kittens thoughts and ideas, and indeed on her blog she writes her thoughts, her feeling, her doubts and fears and it is not for anyone else to add a comment and tell her she is wrong, especially without knowing kitten, without having spoken to her at all or indeed without having any idea what she is like either with Master or on her own.

While kitten likes to recieve comments that are constructive and add to the whole post, and give others  something to think about, attacking kitten is not the way to get your point across, so if you are a friend of kittens or a friend of someone else please have the courage of your words and leave a link where we can all see your words of ‘wisdom’ for ourselves, instead of attacking under the pretence of knowing what a Master is all about,  and yes if kitten has not shown you the ‘respect you think you deserve its because you are not kittens Master and it is only His opinion of kitten that matters

As with all things, there is not a one size fits all and what suits you may not suit another, you mention so many things in your comments, all of which you have no right unless you know kitten to judge, but as with so many people, passing judgement is what they do best, so please, get to know kitten before you condem her and say she is not a slave, she has a feeling you would be very surprised just how slave  ish she actually is, but thas the thing with Master, He likes then to have a brain as well

Kitten has written this post 5 times so far, she has written 6 pages on her note book and still she is no more settled than she was, so many things going around in her head, all she wants to do is cry, and damn it kitten is NOT a crier, even writing this she can feel the tears running down her face.

Yesterday really threw her, something happened and it was stupid and pathetic but it really hit kitten hard, another went somewhere they were not supposed to, to keep an check on kitten she guesses and it ended up kitten was told she was over reacting, then was told it was her fault that the one she is blaming goes nowhere, else * which is not true as she does go on a certain place, but not kittens concern if she wishes to lie, was also told that blogs were removed as they upset kitten, again not true as they were removed as she was cuaght lying once more and couldn’t deny it, again not kittens fault as she did not know about the stupid blogs, all kitten knew was someone was not telling the truth and had got caught in a lie again* It is not kittens fault, kitten has never been on that site herself or read the blog in question so how can it be her fault ? So many things were said and something another done ended up being something kitten was told to apologise for, and that is not going to happen, that is the first time kitten has actively disobeyed Master and it has thrown her into a spin, she is not a slave, she is not submissive, she refused to do as she was told, damn it kitten hates feeling like this.

The worst of it is that Master asked if she was there already would she have refused and the answer was the same, she would have, kitten is so sick of saying sorry to another person who has yet to admit that anything is actually their fault and that they in fact owe kitten the apology,  hell in a year have never had one sorry for all the crap either her or her ‘friend’  have  put kitten through, for some reason unknown to kitten she is never the one who is made to apologise.  sounds like sour grapes really, told you it was stupid but refusing Master has really thrown kitten, she is so uncertain at the moment she feels sick with it.

Kitten so far has written for hours in her notebook, she has cleaned all she can clean and then some more, all to try to work out what the hell she is supposed to do, how she can get rid of feeling like this, but its not worked, kitten is shutting down, she can sense it, she can feel it and she hates it but it is how she survives,

Ever have days you wish would just swallow you up and take you away from everything ? kitten is feeling like that.

In 10 days kitten is supposed to be on a plane to Master, what is the point if she is not a slave for Him, if He tells her to do something and she refuses, what good will she be for Him then ?

Kitten has a few questions, or comments really

If you live in a TPE M/s relationship and you are told by your Master NOT to do something, do you obey that ?

If you are a SLAVE in a relationship and you are banned from something, do you listen and respect your Masters wishes ?

If your Master asks you something, something that you know you should not have done/be doing, do you tell the truth or LIE ?

Do you keep secrets from your Master, hoping He will not find out ?

All too often kitten is finding that some people have a problem with the TPE part of a M/s relationship, when a Master tells a slave not to do something then they should not do it, and then they stupidly make a comment about it and then try to lie their way out of it. Unfortunately their lies are all to often believed but that will change soon as in person it is harder to lie and be believed.

In kittens mind it is really simple, if a slave cannot follow orders from her Master then she is not really a slave, she is trying to push the relationship onto her terms, kitten is not talking about the ‘order’ made while teasing and joking but the orders made when she has pissed Him off and made Him mad, when she has been told not to do something and she thinks she is above His orders.

Kitten is no ones fool and she knows that their are expectations on her regarding her and others but to be honest, kitten is not that keen on dealing with people who cannot be trusted and so far, all indications point at that

rd9613

http://www.edenfantasys.com/roses-flogger/adult-toys-dvds-23448

kitten found this online, it is one of the few times she hopes Master ‘gives’ her flowers !!! lol kitten is nothing if not hopeful

Kitten sits here and wonders what to write about, at the moment all she can think of is the dull ache between her legs, an ache that has been getting worse as the time is getting closer to being with Master. Kitten is no ones fool, she knows that her life with Master will not be sex sex sex as that is not the M/s way regardless of what you have read or been told, if it was then all slaves would walk like John Wayne just getting off his horse and all Masters would need oxygen as lets face it, no one can have sex 24 hours a day 7 days a week !!


Back to the ache, well kitten has been talking with Master, pillows and hugs and kisses etc etc and as hard as kitten tries He will not change His mind * boy is He one stubborn Master at times * but last night He made a slip, lol He said He cannot wait to paddle kittens ass, well let kitten tell you, she melted ! she even said she would love a pillow, if only to sit on with her sore ass, and she knows that He is teasing with the pillows, now to work on the hugs and kisses.


When kitten thinks about being with Him she will admit to wanting Him, something she is a bit scared of as she knows a slave should desire her Master, what is the point of submitting if the one you submit to repulses you, and kitten does desire Him very much, and that is what scares her at times, is it wise to ache for your Master, does that not put more pressure on Him ? And at the end of the day it is not about kittens satisfaction, it is about Masters, so if kitten feels like this about Him now then will she be able to forget her needs to make sure His are met ?


Kitten hopes she will be able to serve Master well, she has no doubts at all there will be some moments of tension as at the moment kitten has only been online with Him, and having served a Master r/t she knows there is a vast difference, and at times she will admit to being stroppy and sullen, as well as mouthy, things she would never dared to be previously, so kitten wonders if she can really get back to being the slave she needs to be, Do you forget how to serve ? Does your focus become centred on you and not Master ? Having never been a me me me type person kitten finds having these thoughts, feelings and this ache is something she is not used to, and to be honest, she is not sure she likes it,  she wants to serve Master, she needs to be real time and she needs to be able to be kitten once more, Damn it, just said kitten was not a me me me type and the last line was about what she wanted, not what Master wanted.


God help kitten she has a feeling she is going to struggle if she is not with Him soon