Akittenone’s Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘slave

Readers of this * if there are any* will be getting a bit sick of kitten going on about going to Master but it is something she cannot help talking about, and as she only speaks to Master and writes on all her blogs then sorry, you are stuck with it !!

Now there are many things kitten can tell you about Master but she will not bore you but one thing she will share is that for some reason Master seems to have a new name when W/we are teasing, not sure why but kitten can’t help but call Him Batman !

Now this started when kitten was not allowed to say no Master, so being inventive it got changed to “ Dream on Batman” and for some reason it has stuck ! Now kitten knows that when Master and kitten are messing about and teasing each other then she can call Him Batman as long as it is not in a derogatory way, in a teasing capacity it is fine, and kitten also knows there is a time and a place to laugh and joke, kitten loves nothing more at the moment than to hear Him laugh and know she has caused that, but she also knows that when Master is being serious or He is watching/listening/working etc then that is not the time to play about or try to instil herself upon Him.

Kitten is going to get off the plane and know that she is stepping into a new chapter in her life, but she thinks that the playing, teasing, talking, are all good ground work in getting to know Master, as long as she doesn’t call Him Batman too many times, * lol especially when He is spanking kitten, can you imagine – One Batman thank You, Two Batman, thank You etc, hhmm not sure that would go down well, but you never know might try it for the hell of it !! *

Guess what kitten is saying is that there are many sides to a Master, the strong side, that is there for you, to support and help you, the teaching side that is always helping you improve and grow, learn and be all you can be, the fun side that can make you cry with laughter and who teases and torments you and the serious side that lets you know when you have done wrong and need to be reprimanded or punished.

Master is like a puzzle, all the pieces go together to make the whole Man and kitten is excited to be finally able to fit all the pieces together so they are part of her life

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Sitting here thinking, thinking of what kitten is about to do, where she is about to go and what her life is going to bring her, she knows that life is about to change for her, and in some ways she is wary, having been in a M/s relationship for years the move to another Master is a huge one, and one that readers of this know has been filled with troubles and problems from others in the family and outsiders trying to tell kitten what to do and what not to do.

Kitten has known Master for a year, and in that time she has made Him mad at her, made Him sign off the computer as He was angry, and at the other end she has made Him laugh and made Him smile. Kitten has questioned Him and argued with Him, she has cried and she has screamed, and still she is His, that alone tells kitten He is not playing games with her, regardless of what has happened kitten knows He is trustworthy and someone she can depend on.

Kitten knows that she will face some difficult times, not least in meeting her ‘sister’ and yes kitten knows that she will read this even though she has been banned * kitten is no ones fool regardless of what they wish to believe* but kitten also knows she is strong and will face that when it happens, and having extracted a promise from Master then she knows it will not happen in the near future.

Moving to another country, to serve a Master you have not served before * online does not count and kitten has a list of reasons why in her mind it doesn’t * to be a 24/7 slave to a Master whose likes and dislikes you will have to discover as you go, to know what makes Him smile and what makes Him frown, all this and so much more wait for kitten, but along with this will come happiness, contentment, the feeling of coming home, of knowing where she needs to be, of having Master there when she is scared and worried, of having Him beside her when she faces things she would rather run from.

In a few days kitten will be on a plane to a new chapter in her life, one filled with excitement and trepidation, but one she will face head on, the same as she will face all oppositions to her being Masters kitten

Kitten has written this post 5 times so far, she has written 6 pages on her note book and still she is no more settled than she was, so many things going around in her head, all she wants to do is cry, and damn it kitten is NOT a crier, even writing this she can feel the tears running down her face.

Yesterday really threw her, something happened and it was stupid and pathetic but it really hit kitten hard, another went somewhere they were not supposed to, to keep an check on kitten she guesses and it ended up kitten was told she was over reacting, then was told it was her fault that the one she is blaming goes nowhere, else * which is not true as she does go on a certain place, but not kittens concern if she wishes to lie, was also told that blogs were removed as they upset kitten, again not true as they were removed as she was cuaght lying once more and couldn’t deny it, again not kittens fault as she did not know about the stupid blogs, all kitten knew was someone was not telling the truth and had got caught in a lie again* It is not kittens fault, kitten has never been on that site herself or read the blog in question so how can it be her fault ? So many things were said and something another done ended up being something kitten was told to apologise for, and that is not going to happen, that is the first time kitten has actively disobeyed Master and it has thrown her into a spin, she is not a slave, she is not submissive, she refused to do as she was told, damn it kitten hates feeling like this.

The worst of it is that Master asked if she was there already would she have refused and the answer was the same, she would have, kitten is so sick of saying sorry to another person who has yet to admit that anything is actually their fault and that they in fact owe kitten the apology,  hell in a year have never had one sorry for all the crap either her or her ‘friend’  have  put kitten through, for some reason unknown to kitten she is never the one who is made to apologise.  sounds like sour grapes really, told you it was stupid but refusing Master has really thrown kitten, she is so uncertain at the moment she feels sick with it.

Kitten so far has written for hours in her notebook, she has cleaned all she can clean and then some more, all to try to work out what the hell she is supposed to do, how she can get rid of feeling like this, but its not worked, kitten is shutting down, she can sense it, she can feel it and she hates it but it is how she survives,

Ever have days you wish would just swallow you up and take you away from everything ? kitten is feeling like that.

In 10 days kitten is supposed to be on a plane to Master, what is the point if she is not a slave for Him, if He tells her to do something and she refuses, what good will she be for Him then ?

Kitten has a few questions, or comments really

If you live in a TPE M/s relationship and you are told by your Master NOT to do something, do you obey that ?

If you are a SLAVE in a relationship and you are banned from something, do you listen and respect your Masters wishes ?

If your Master asks you something, something that you know you should not have done/be doing, do you tell the truth or LIE ?

Do you keep secrets from your Master, hoping He will not find out ?

All too often kitten is finding that some people have a problem with the TPE part of a M/s relationship, when a Master tells a slave not to do something then they should not do it, and then they stupidly make a comment about it and then try to lie their way out of it. Unfortunately their lies are all to often believed but that will change soon as in person it is harder to lie and be believed.

In kittens mind it is really simple, if a slave cannot follow orders from her Master then she is not really a slave, she is trying to push the relationship onto her terms, kitten is not talking about the ‘order’ made while teasing and joking but the orders made when she has pissed Him off and made Him mad, when she has been told not to do something and she thinks she is above His orders.

Kitten is no ones fool and she knows that their are expectations on her regarding her and others but to be honest, kitten is not that keen on dealing with people who cannot be trusted and so far, all indications point at that

Time is moving, kitten is getting closer and closer to the time she can be with Master, under two weeks now, wow things certainly appear to be flying by, lol in 8 months it will be Christmas again !!

This is the time that kitten has been dreading, not the moving but the thoughts and actions of others. Kitten does not really understand some people and their mentality, all she seems to be getting all day long, on the phone, on instant messenger and from people in r/t is that she is making a mistake and that she will not be wanted, well all kitten can say to them is IF she is making a mistake then it is hers to make, but she honestly doesn’t believe it is a mistake, not for her at least.

Kitten is usually quiet, she is not one to push herself to the fore front and demand more time from Master, moan about wanting to be played with or wanting to have some quality time with Him, kitten knows that Master will be with her when HE wants to be and all that moaning and whining will do is make Him not want to spend time with her at all, something kitten thinks people don’t realise, and when they see kitten content to not speak then they think its because she doesn’t value the time with Him, they think that in order to be a sub or slave they need interaction and conversation at all times, well for them that might be true but kitten is mainly content within herself, oohh don’t get her wrong, there are times she needs Him but unless she tells Him those times He will never know.

Kitten needs Him at the moment, she has had company everyday of the week so far, and to be honest her head is splitting and she is not sure anymore if she is sitting down or standing up, they have her so confused and twisted she is not even sure of her name at times , unless you count the names they call her, then guess she is many things. Kitten has needs as well, she works all day and long hours at that so when she is home she loves to chat, the time difference is a killer and with company as well it makes things worse, but kitten knows Master has others and even if they are on the same time zone as Him it is His choice who He interacts with and when, kitten could speak up and say she would like to talk please but that is not her way, so it is kittens fault really.

Kitten just hopes the next two weeks go fast, she knows that actually being with Master is not going to be a bed of roses, there will be ‘teething’ problems and no doubt some grief from others who will not like kitten being there, but at least Master will be there for those problems, its these ones that kitten is dealing with alone that are making her head spin and hurt, but as kittens mother used to say, “ If they are picking on you they are leaving someone else alone so accept it and deal with it “

Kitten has a note book, in the wrong hands she knows it could do a lot of damage, in her note book is kittens life as it was, her thoughts her feelings, her rants * and yeap kitten can rant with the best of them, and she swears as well, proper swearing sometimes depends on who has pushed her and how far *

Well Master knows about kittens notebook and He said last night that when she gets there it is His property and He wants to read it, well hells bells and fire lighters, this kitten really does not want, that is hers, it is her in its pages, all she thinks and wonders about, all the things that have happened to her, things said or done, people who have hurt her and how or why, her thoughts on that and other things, in some ways it is more of a novel than a note book. In there kitten writes, she writes and she writes, anything and everything, and it scares her that someone else wants to read it, now kitten trusts Master with her life and in giving Him the note book she will in effect be giving Him her life.

Giving yourself to your Master is something you do when you submit, but always before that has been bodily, in any and every way they wish, and in service, in anything and everything they wish * and these are not blanket statements, kitten is no ones fool and she has been with Master a year so she knows the likes and dislikes, the things He want from kitten, the things He expects etc etc, and this she is more than happy with, ** omitting the blinking pillows, cuddles and kisses and she would be estatic **

Never before has kitten had to reveal her thoughts and feelings to another, oohh she knows she gets stroppy and she is a ‘bit’ out spoken at times but they are surface feelings, now Master wants them all, and that is something kitten really not comfortable with, is it really bad if a slave has an accident with the laptop and all her notes are erased, by accident of course ?

Just a quick post, kitten wanted to tell you that she is not all doom and gloom, that she is in fact someone who loves to laugh and mess about, and last night she was doing that, can’t explain the exact things but lets just say kitten is going to take the FBI Hostage negotiations course when she gets to the states, if it works for them then hopefully kitten will stand a chance against Master !!!

Master was teasing kitten last night, ok nothing unusual about that, except this time kitten was being a smart ass and she had the ‘perfect’ solution to what He was saying, only two things wrong with that

#1 kitten was trying to make a deal with Master ( and god knows that never works out as kitten thinks it will ) and

#2 She was laughing to hard for Him to understand straight away so that gave Him time to make a comeback and kitten ended up being told she would do both of the things she was making a deal about !!!!!!!!!!

Now kitten has been banned from saying no, non, nope, nada, hell no, dream on batman, no way jose, or anything else that means no to Master, and kitten is inventive if nothing else so now the smilies on im are banned as well( the surprised one on yahoo shakes its head, kitten was overloading on that one last night till she was banned from using it ) so she has to say Yes Master and omg that is so hard as He deliberately says things or does things that make kitten say no, and for each no kitten gets a pillow or a hug or a kiss, at His count last night ( and kitten really thinks He needs more maths lessons ) kitten will be kissing and cuddling till she is 90 and that is at least 5 a day, without interest !And another thing, Master now informs kitten that a hug is something that can be left off and resumed at His leisure, and it is still the same hug ???? Now kitten knows He is making that bit up !

There is something to be said for being owned by an inventive Master, life is never dull around Him thats for sure, thank You Master, just for being You