Akittenone’s Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘kitten

Posted on: May 11, 2009

Do you remember when you were a child and you were told to do something you didn’t want to ? Like cleaning your room or going to see relatives when all you wanted to do was go out with your friends ? The feeling of having no control over your life and what you were being told to do was great, and in some ways the M/s and to a lesser extent the D/s relationship is very similar. Kitten has just read a great article describing this better than she ever could,*here* but it did get her thinking, she knows there are times when Master is teasing her that she tells Him “ No way Batman” or “ Dream on He who must be Obeyed” but this is different, during the teasing kitten is not actually refusing Him anything as W/we B/both know if He wanted something then kitten would do it and do it with a feeling of want as He has asked for something * and no it need not be sexual, it can be anything from getting Him a drink to pleasing Him*

However we all get times when we really don’t want to do something, for what ever reason we try to change things so we have the controlling hand. An example of this was the other night, kitten was told to do something, and she didn’t want to as she had got herself into a funk and it seemed as though she was struggling with things on her own, so when she was told to perform the task she replied “ kitten would rather not” Well this led to a few questions which kitten again tried not to answer so she started to perform the task first asked, this did not go down well, Master pulled her up and refused to let her do what she now wanted to do, * ok so kitten doesn’t take much persuading to do certain things * And after close questioning and kitten being allowed to speak freely * this means that anything said will not be used against her and she is allowed to talk freely about what is on her mind*,  Master saw things from kittens point and He apologised * A true Master is one who is never afraid to admit to making errors in judgement, something people should be aware of*

Now the above might not make sense and it might seem that kitten was trying to control things, and if you read it again you will probably see that in some ways she was, she was trying to control herself, trying to say she didn’t want to do something but ultimately she was going to do it as it had been asked of her, and she knows that was wrong.

So what should she have done ? Well first off she should have spoken to Master BEFORE she got herself so worked up that she could not see the wood for the trees, she should have gone to Him and asked to speak, but this is another lesson she is learning, the one where she has to accept that Master CAN help her and that she need not do everything on her own, the lesson that she can depend on Him. And she is also learning that when Master tells her to do something then she does it, the majority of the time it is with a great big smile on her face and for the few times its not, then those are the times that she knows she is pleasing Master by doing as asked of her as a slave should do. Any task set by a Master is one a slave should under take to the best of her ability and not just when it suits her.

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Kitten has a note book, in the wrong hands she knows it could do a lot of damage, in her note book is kittens life as it was, her thoughts her feelings, her rants * and yeap kitten can rant with the best of them, and she swears as well, proper swearing sometimes depends on who has pushed her and how far *

Well Master knows about kittens notebook and He said last night that when she gets there it is His property and He wants to read it, well hells bells and fire lighters, this kitten really does not want, that is hers, it is her in its pages, all she thinks and wonders about, all the things that have happened to her, things said or done, people who have hurt her and how or why, her thoughts on that and other things, in some ways it is more of a novel than a note book. In there kitten writes, she writes and she writes, anything and everything, and it scares her that someone else wants to read it, now kitten trusts Master with her life and in giving Him the note book she will in effect be giving Him her life.

Giving yourself to your Master is something you do when you submit, but always before that has been bodily, in any and every way they wish, and in service, in anything and everything they wish * and these are not blanket statements, kitten is no ones fool and she has been with Master a year so she knows the likes and dislikes, the things He want from kitten, the things He expects etc etc, and this she is more than happy with, ** omitting the blinking pillows, cuddles and kisses and she would be estatic **

Never before has kitten had to reveal her thoughts and feelings to another, oohh she knows she gets stroppy and she is a ‘bit’ out spoken at times but they are surface feelings, now Master wants them all, and that is something kitten really not comfortable with, is it really bad if a slave has an accident with the laptop and all her notes are erased, by accident of course ?

Just a quick post, kitten wanted to tell you that she is not all doom and gloom, that she is in fact someone who loves to laugh and mess about, and last night she was doing that, can’t explain the exact things but lets just say kitten is going to take the FBI Hostage negotiations course when she gets to the states, if it works for them then hopefully kitten will stand a chance against Master !!!

Master was teasing kitten last night, ok nothing unusual about that, except this time kitten was being a smart ass and she had the ‘perfect’ solution to what He was saying, only two things wrong with that

#1 kitten was trying to make a deal with Master ( and god knows that never works out as kitten thinks it will ) and

#2 She was laughing to hard for Him to understand straight away so that gave Him time to make a comeback and kitten ended up being told she would do both of the things she was making a deal about !!!!!!!!!!

Now kitten has been banned from saying no, non, nope, nada, hell no, dream on batman, no way jose, or anything else that means no to Master, and kitten is inventive if nothing else so now the smilies on im are banned as well( the surprised one on yahoo shakes its head, kitten was overloading on that one last night till she was banned from using it ) so she has to say Yes Master and omg that is so hard as He deliberately says things or does things that make kitten say no, and for each no kitten gets a pillow or a hug or a kiss, at His count last night ( and kitten really thinks He needs more maths lessons ) kitten will be kissing and cuddling till she is 90 and that is at least 5 a day, without interest !And another thing, Master now informs kitten that a hug is something that can be left off and resumed at His leisure, and it is still the same hug ???? Now kitten knows He is making that bit up !

There is something to be said for being owned by an inventive Master, life is never dull around Him thats for sure, thank You Master, just for being You

rd9613

http://www.edenfantasys.com/roses-flogger/adult-toys-dvds-23448

kitten found this online, it is one of the few times she hopes Master ‘gives’ her flowers !!! lol kitten is nothing if not hopeful

Kitten sits here and wonders what to write about, at the moment all she can think of is the dull ache between her legs, an ache that has been getting worse as the time is getting closer to being with Master. Kitten is no ones fool, she knows that her life with Master will not be sex sex sex as that is not the M/s way regardless of what you have read or been told, if it was then all slaves would walk like John Wayne just getting off his horse and all Masters would need oxygen as lets face it, no one can have sex 24 hours a day 7 days a week !!


Back to the ache, well kitten has been talking with Master, pillows and hugs and kisses etc etc and as hard as kitten tries He will not change His mind * boy is He one stubborn Master at times * but last night He made a slip, lol He said He cannot wait to paddle kittens ass, well let kitten tell you, she melted ! she even said she would love a pillow, if only to sit on with her sore ass, and she knows that He is teasing with the pillows, now to work on the hugs and kisses.


When kitten thinks about being with Him she will admit to wanting Him, something she is a bit scared of as she knows a slave should desire her Master, what is the point of submitting if the one you submit to repulses you, and kitten does desire Him very much, and that is what scares her at times, is it wise to ache for your Master, does that not put more pressure on Him ? And at the end of the day it is not about kittens satisfaction, it is about Masters, so if kitten feels like this about Him now then will she be able to forget her needs to make sure His are met ?


Kitten hopes she will be able to serve Master well, she has no doubts at all there will be some moments of tension as at the moment kitten has only been online with Him, and having served a Master r/t she knows there is a vast difference, and at times she will admit to being stroppy and sullen, as well as mouthy, things she would never dared to be previously, so kitten wonders if she can really get back to being the slave she needs to be, Do you forget how to serve ? Does your focus become centred on you and not Master ? Having never been a me me me type person kitten finds having these thoughts, feelings and this ache is something she is not used to, and to be honest, she is not sure she likes it,  she wants to serve Master, she needs to be real time and she needs to be able to be kitten once more, Damn it, just said kitten was not a me me me type and the last line was about what she wanted, not what Master wanted.


God help kitten she has a feeling she is going to struggle if she is not with Him soon

kitten was reading some stuff the other day across this, its something she read many times as the words are so true, When kitten read it, she could hear Master saying to her ” Believe in Me and I will protect you, Believe in Me and I will keep you safe” words she knows are not hollow words but facts, kitten puts her faith and trust in Him and she knows He will be her rock when she needs Him, her strength when she is falling and her wisdom when she is unsure, He will be her light when she cannot see the way, hope you enjoy and can see the parts that are kitten and the parts that are Master

I sit alone and watch the clock

Trying to collect my thoughts

All I think about is you

And so I cry myself to sleep

And hope the devil I don’t meet

In the dreams that I live through

Believe in me

I know you’ve waited for so long

Believe in me

Sometimes the weak become the strong

Believe in me

This life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams

All the smiles you had to fake

And all the shit you had to take

Just to lead us here again

I never have the things to say

To make it all just go away

To make it all just disappear

Believe in me

I know you’ve waited for so long

Believe in me

Sometimes the weak become the strong

Believe in me

This life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams

Its my life

Its my choice

Hear my words

Hear my voice

And just believe

I sit alone and watch the clock

Trying to collect my thoughts

And all I think about is you

If you believe in me

Life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams

Believe in me

I know you’ve waited for so long

Believe in me

Sometimes the weak become the strong

Believe in me

This life is not always what it seems

Believe in me

Cause I was made for chasing dreams

BITCH

Posted on: March 14, 2009

bitchology

kitten wants to be a bitch, she needs to be a bitch especially if this is what a bitch is, getting so fed up with being a doormat for others to wipe thier feet on, and the worst of it all ? Its never Master that thinks kitten is a door mat, just others who think they can walk all over her, and tell lies and untruths and try to make her life so difficult. In A months time kitten will be with Master, that is something that is not going to change so to everyone out there who kitten knows reads this in the hope of using something against her, GET USED TO IT AS YOU WILL NOT STOP HER, ONLY MASTER CAN DO THAT

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