Akittenone’s Weblog

Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

Sitting here thinking, thinking of what kitten is about to do, where she is about to go and what her life is going to bring her, she knows that life is about to change for her, and in some ways she is wary, having been in a M/s relationship for years the move to another Master is a huge one, and one that readers of this know has been filled with troubles and problems from others in the family and outsiders trying to tell kitten what to do and what not to do.

Kitten has known Master for a year, and in that time she has made Him mad at her, made Him sign off the computer as He was angry, and at the other end she has made Him laugh and made Him smile. Kitten has questioned Him and argued with Him, she has cried and she has screamed, and still she is His, that alone tells kitten He is not playing games with her, regardless of what has happened kitten knows He is trustworthy and someone she can depend on.

Kitten knows that she will face some difficult times, not least in meeting her ‘sister’ and yes kitten knows that she will read this even though she has been banned * kitten is no ones fool regardless of what they wish to believe* but kitten also knows she is strong and will face that when it happens, and having extracted a promise from Master then she knows it will not happen in the near future.

Moving to another country, to serve a Master you have not served before * online does not count and kitten has a list of reasons why in her mind it doesn’t * to be a 24/7 slave to a Master whose likes and dislikes you will have to discover as you go, to know what makes Him smile and what makes Him frown, all this and so much more wait for kitten, but along with this will come happiness, contentment, the feeling of coming home, of knowing where she needs to be, of having Master there when she is scared and worried, of having Him beside her when she faces things she would rather run from.

In a few days kitten will be on a plane to a new chapter in her life, one filled with excitement and trepidation, but one she will face head on, the same as she will face all oppositions to her being Masters kitten

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Kitten has a few questions, or comments really

If you live in a TPE M/s relationship and you are told by your Master NOT to do something, do you obey that ?

If you are a SLAVE in a relationship and you are banned from something, do you listen and respect your Masters wishes ?

If your Master asks you something, something that you know you should not have done/be doing, do you tell the truth or LIE ?

Do you keep secrets from your Master, hoping He will not find out ?

All too often kitten is finding that some people have a problem with the TPE part of a M/s relationship, when a Master tells a slave not to do something then they should not do it, and then they stupidly make a comment about it and then try to lie their way out of it. Unfortunately their lies are all to often believed but that will change soon as in person it is harder to lie and be believed.

In kittens mind it is really simple, if a slave cannot follow orders from her Master then she is not really a slave, she is trying to push the relationship onto her terms, kitten is not talking about the ‘order’ made while teasing and joking but the orders made when she has pissed Him off and made Him mad, when she has been told not to do something and she thinks she is above His orders.

Kitten is no ones fool and she knows that their are expectations on her regarding her and others but to be honest, kitten is not that keen on dealing with people who cannot be trusted and so far, all indications point at that

Time is moving, kitten is getting closer and closer to the time she can be with Master, under two weeks now, wow things certainly appear to be flying by, lol in 8 months it will be Christmas again !!

This is the time that kitten has been dreading, not the moving but the thoughts and actions of others. Kitten does not really understand some people and their mentality, all she seems to be getting all day long, on the phone, on instant messenger and from people in r/t is that she is making a mistake and that she will not be wanted, well all kitten can say to them is IF she is making a mistake then it is hers to make, but she honestly doesn’t believe it is a mistake, not for her at least.

Kitten is usually quiet, she is not one to push herself to the fore front and demand more time from Master, moan about wanting to be played with or wanting to have some quality time with Him, kitten knows that Master will be with her when HE wants to be and all that moaning and whining will do is make Him not want to spend time with her at all, something kitten thinks people don’t realise, and when they see kitten content to not speak then they think its because she doesn’t value the time with Him, they think that in order to be a sub or slave they need interaction and conversation at all times, well for them that might be true but kitten is mainly content within herself, oohh don’t get her wrong, there are times she needs Him but unless she tells Him those times He will never know.

Kitten needs Him at the moment, she has had company everyday of the week so far, and to be honest her head is splitting and she is not sure anymore if she is sitting down or standing up, they have her so confused and twisted she is not even sure of her name at times , unless you count the names they call her, then guess she is many things. Kitten has needs as well, she works all day and long hours at that so when she is home she loves to chat, the time difference is a killer and with company as well it makes things worse, but kitten knows Master has others and even if they are on the same time zone as Him it is His choice who He interacts with and when, kitten could speak up and say she would like to talk please but that is not her way, so it is kittens fault really.

Kitten just hopes the next two weeks go fast, she knows that actually being with Master is not going to be a bed of roses, there will be ‘teething’ problems and no doubt some grief from others who will not like kitten being there, but at least Master will be there for those problems, its these ones that kitten is dealing with alone that are making her head spin and hurt, but as kittens mother used to say, “ If they are picking on you they are leaving someone else alone so accept it and deal with it “

Kitten has a note book, in the wrong hands she knows it could do a lot of damage, in her note book is kittens life as it was, her thoughts her feelings, her rants * and yeap kitten can rant with the best of them, and she swears as well, proper swearing sometimes depends on who has pushed her and how far *

Well Master knows about kittens notebook and He said last night that when she gets there it is His property and He wants to read it, well hells bells and fire lighters, this kitten really does not want, that is hers, it is her in its pages, all she thinks and wonders about, all the things that have happened to her, things said or done, people who have hurt her and how or why, her thoughts on that and other things, in some ways it is more of a novel than a note book. In there kitten writes, she writes and she writes, anything and everything, and it scares her that someone else wants to read it, now kitten trusts Master with her life and in giving Him the note book she will in effect be giving Him her life.

Giving yourself to your Master is something you do when you submit, but always before that has been bodily, in any and every way they wish, and in service, in anything and everything they wish * and these are not blanket statements, kitten is no ones fool and she has been with Master a year so she knows the likes and dislikes, the things He want from kitten, the things He expects etc etc, and this she is more than happy with, ** omitting the blinking pillows, cuddles and kisses and she would be estatic **

Never before has kitten had to reveal her thoughts and feelings to another, oohh she knows she gets stroppy and she is a ‘bit’ out spoken at times but they are surface feelings, now Master wants them all, and that is something kitten really not comfortable with, is it really bad if a slave has an accident with the laptop and all her notes are erased, by accident of course ?

Just a quick post, kitten wanted to tell you that she is not all doom and gloom, that she is in fact someone who loves to laugh and mess about, and last night she was doing that, can’t explain the exact things but lets just say kitten is going to take the FBI Hostage negotiations course when she gets to the states, if it works for them then hopefully kitten will stand a chance against Master !!!

Master was teasing kitten last night, ok nothing unusual about that, except this time kitten was being a smart ass and she had the ‘perfect’ solution to what He was saying, only two things wrong with that

#1 kitten was trying to make a deal with Master ( and god knows that never works out as kitten thinks it will ) and

#2 She was laughing to hard for Him to understand straight away so that gave Him time to make a comeback and kitten ended up being told she would do both of the things she was making a deal about !!!!!!!!!!

Now kitten has been banned from saying no, non, nope, nada, hell no, dream on batman, no way jose, or anything else that means no to Master, and kitten is inventive if nothing else so now the smilies on im are banned as well( the surprised one on yahoo shakes its head, kitten was overloading on that one last night till she was banned from using it ) so she has to say Yes Master and omg that is so hard as He deliberately says things or does things that make kitten say no, and for each no kitten gets a pillow or a hug or a kiss, at His count last night ( and kitten really thinks He needs more maths lessons ) kitten will be kissing and cuddling till she is 90 and that is at least 5 a day, without interest !And another thing, Master now informs kitten that a hug is something that can be left off and resumed at His leisure, and it is still the same hug ???? Now kitten knows He is making that bit up !

There is something to be said for being owned by an inventive Master, life is never dull around Him thats for sure, thank You Master, just for being You

Well another day crossed off the list, time is moving and kitten is thinking, hhhmm not sure is that is good or bad to be honest.

Kitten has always managed to hold herself ‘aloof’ she very rarely lets people get close enough to really affect her, well that is all breaking down, Master has got to her, and holding herself back and keeping a distance is becoming harder and harder, and that scares kitten a lot.

Kitten has been reading some of her old post, she sees herself being soft and soppy, and that is not kitten, she is tough, strong, she needs no one and nothing from others, yet He manages to get to her in stupid ways, either things said or things done and to be honest kitten is fighting that, she cannot depend on anyone, that makes her needy, she needs to rely on herself, let no one in, stay aloof, stay safe.

How can one person do this to another ? How can He get to her when she resists at all turns ? He says things about hugs and kisses, all things kitten sucks at, they are things kitten doesn’t know how to do well, so she doesn’t do them, end of story.

In being with Master kitten has faced a LOT of others who think that she should not be, and she has lost a few ‘friends’ along the way, last night another one decided to put their opinions across, have they spoken to others ? Don’t really know, all kitten knows is that they were a very good friend from a friends site that she used to go on, now she doesn’t go there anymore and they want her to, they want to get her to go back to online with others, to chat and laugh, to be a part of the fun group again,

Kitten is thinking too hard, she knows that no matter what she is trying to do her thoughts and feelings keep pushing themselves forward, hell kitten either wants to be with Master NOW so He can sort things for her or she wants to run fast, and at the moment it is a tightly run race as to what wins. The fact that she wants Master to help sort things out is something she doesn’t like, always before she could sort things herself, close them away and shut a bit more of herself away, that is getting harder to do as each day goes by and kitten can’t deal with that, not at all

Kitten spends quite a bit of time talking to Master about everything and anything, to be honest kitten is now getting used to how His mind jumps about and most of the time she can follow His conversation, be it about the stock market or the weather, certain sexual things * and nope not saying what they are but kitten will say eeeeeeewwwwwww * and kitten values the time she spends with Him, lol she knows He is usually chatting online with others at the same time, this is what makes following His conversations so interesting !


Well Master asked some questions last night and kitten answered them as best she could, they were questions that were really hard to answer. After kitten had answered them she made a comment, and Master said something, something that made kitten think even more, He said ‘ We all make our own paths in life, and it is our right to search out our happiness ‘


He is right, it is kittens right to be happy, she deserves it as much as the next person, and while she knows being with Master will upset a few others, that is their problem, selfish kitten knows, but should she not take this chance of happiness so she can make others feel better ? Do they deserve to be happy more than kitten does ? And is their happiness really dependant on kitten not coming or on something else that kitten has no control over ?


Wow deep thought s for a morning, but its true, kitten does have as much right as anyone else at being happy and this life makes her happy, she knows there will be struggles, and she is not stupid enough to believe it will all be plain sailing, there will be life issues kitten has to face, kitten also knows she will have a few problems facing certain things, all of which she is sure she will cope with if she has Master by her side,


Guess the reason for kittens ramblings this morning is to say, We all deserve to be happy, other peoples feelings are not something we can really control, just as kitten has to do what is right for her then they have to look inside themselves and know what is right for them, be it M/s D/s or something more traditional, their happiness is something only they can determine.