Akittenone’s Weblog

Past Present Future

Posted on: August 21, 2008

There are many things that happen in life that hurt a person, and its strange how a simple conversation can bring those things back into your mind.

Kitten was having a conversation with her Master last night, He was teasing her, and the subject was in one way a normal one but as the chat went on, things started going through kittens mind, things from the  past and it upset kitten, stupid she knows as Master had no knowledge and so was at a loss as to what was going on. The past has a way of invading the present and affecting the future, and if no one knows what is upsetting then they will invariably touch on that subject and re open old wounds, things which in theory you should be able to get over but as with all things, sometimes the hurt goes too deep and the easiest way is to shut it away in your head and try to ignore it, pray that it never happens again.

Kitten shut down last night, she took the pain, she became a ‘robot’ and let it take over her until she couldn’t take it any more and she became a ‘zombie’ if you like, she went through the motions, she did things automatically and with no thoughts or feelings, she could not explain to Master what was wrong and she still hasn’t, some things are best left in her head and no in the open, for the first time that she can remember kitten was glad Master was busy else where so He would not ask her questions, so He would not want to know what was wrong, lol the good thing was that the things kitten had to do needed no thoughts or interaction with others, that she doesn’t think she could have coped with without having a complete melt down.

Kitten wrote last night, she wrote of her pain, her feelings, her anger all things that she then destroyed it in the vain hope that this will make things disappear but she knows it won’t, she knows that the wrong word or the right question will bring it all back, so she is prepared, she is ready for it, but the question is,, will she be able to cope with it ?

Some things are best left in the past, unfortunately, the past shapes the present and the present determines our future,, so its all interlinked. We can change our own futures but the past that will always remain the same, and can we ever really get over the past ? kitten hopes so as her future depends on it


1 Response to "Past Present Future"

what is past is past, memories will always remain, painful, or wonderful they are in the past.the present and future cannot change the past. Look forward not back, enjoy what you can , ignore what you can’t.Kittens amazing mind can overcome anything and everything. My faith in her is so strong I know she will deal with this as she has everything else in her life.Even though she is absent from my life, the wonderful things we shared will always be super memories for me.Kitten is my special friend and always will be.


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